Confused

So last night, we talked till dawn, as usual. And he started asking random questions about the crush that he heard from my friends. And I asked him the same thing too. I found out that he actually has a crush on some girl from another school. But the thing is, he won’t tell me which school she goes to and her name.

I just don’t understand. If he likes someone, why didn’t he ask her to prom? Why ask me? Why talk to me till dawn?? Why flirt with me?? Is he playing with me? But what I heard from his friends is that he likes me.

SIGH.. I just don’t know why I am writing about this. I don’t even know why or what I’m feeling right now.

FOOD FOOD FOOD GAMES MOVIE FOOD

It’s been ages since I have posted something in my blog. I have been busy with stuff. And a month back, I just went to a dinner party + sleep over + game night. I had one of the most amazing night ever. The dishes that I ate was just.. DELICIOUS! I wanted to use another word to describe those wonderful dishes, but I “delicious” says it all. I just love having meals at hotels. The food never let me down. There’s a couple more dinners at hotel coming up. Can’t wait!

aglio olio pasta

my favourite dessert for the night

uno stackato for game night

mac and cheese <3 favourite dish for the night

Is This What They Call Love?

Every single time I open my twitter account, my friends have been retweeting those love quotes saying how in love they are or how hurt they are.

“You made me smile with every single thing you do, give me butterflies with your smile, and with the simplest words you made my heart skip a beat. I love you.”

I didn’t quite exactly remember the quote, but more or less that is what it says. Or at least that is how I remembered it. I always thought that those quotes are a hyperbole. How can you possibly feel butterflies in your stomach?

But I am proven wrong. I felt it. I felt those butterflies in my stomach. He made me smile with every single thing he does. With the simplest words, he made my day. He never fails to amuse me with the things he does. The tingling sensation when my hands and his brushed. How I will sacrifice my sleeping time to just talk to him till the sun rises up. And the thing that surprises myself is that I don’t actually mind sharing my food with him.

Is this what they call love? I have never felt so happy and so.. This feeling is indescribable. And there is prom coming up. He asked me to go with him. I felt like  I can never be happier. It’s like fireworks are bursting, confetti are everywhere. I can hear my own heart beating so fast, and how his eyes sparkles..

Is this what they call love? Or is this just a crush? Whatever they call it, I don’t want to stop feeling this way.

Messed Up

You know the feeling where things just seemed like they don’t fall into places? Feels like things are just not right. 

Things just get so messed up lately. I thought I’ve got it all figured out. Now, I don’t feel like I am being me. Like the soul is slowly dying inside. It’s just like me with no soul. No excitement, no joy, no nothing. Sometimes I just think too much up to a point I just don’t know what I was thinking about. 

I miss my old self. The old cheerful, mad-of-dessert me. My life is just so messed up.

Forgive, forget and just keep on moving forward

I figured things out. There is no point on hating people who hurt you. Face it, people will always hurt you and disappoint you.

I fought with my so called “best friend”. She used me. She betrayed me and she spreads rumours about me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I care or anything on the part where she spread rumours. Cause I don’t care about what others think of me. What matters most is what I think about myself and what my best friends think about me. Cause at a point or another people talk behind your back, betray you, use you. Those things happen in life. You can never avoid that. But it’s your choice whether to let those people to have an impact on you. It’s your choice to whether or not making those people ruin your mood or your day. And I choose not to.

Cause those who matters won’t mind, and those who mind doesn’t matters.

Dear Friend,

It’s ok. Everything’s gonna be fine. Stop blaming yourself because of what had happened cause it’s not your fault. See the bright side of things, these obstacles you face shapes you to a tougher you. Remember, I’m always gonna be here with you. I’m gonna be walking right beside you through your thick and thin. Cause that’s what friends are for, right? Don’t let people take away your beautiful smile

Ivy

Pray for Boston

I just heard about the explosion occurred near the finish line at the Boston Marathon about 4 hours after the race starts. It was said that 3 people were killed and hundreds were injured. And out of those 3 people who were killed, an 8 year old little kid died.

I pray that the family members of those who have already passed away, find some peace in these moments. I pray that the family members of the injured have the strength to love and support their loved ones as they face a difficult journey. I pray that everyone who is still waiting to hear from a loved one, a friend, or a family member, that they are able to hear the news that they are ok. I pray for everyone that was involved in this tragedy. Something like this stays with a person for the rest of their lives, and I pray that someday peace can be found.

Racing events are supposed to be joyous occasions. You train and train and train for a day like what today was supposed to be. You expect to cross the finish line and feel a sense of pride or accomplishment. You aren’t supposed to be gripped with fear after bombs go off at the finish line. Just like any other act of random violence that has occurred, this wasn’t supposed to happen and right now we can’t make sense of any of it. We may never be able to make sense of today.  Right now all we can do is pray and hope.

Will things fall into place eventually?

Love makes you vulnerable. One day he can bring you up to cloud nine and the next day he breaks your heart. I just hate the idea that you have this impact on me. With just one smile, you build up my world. And with just words, you shatter them to pieces. Then things get confusing. I’m reading all the signals you’ve been giving me. And I’ve been giving you signals too. But then things changed, people change, you changed. You started to act insane. We started to scream and fight. Within days we just grew further apart.

People always say that it’s better to have something than to have nothing at all. But really, it’s even harder to have something halfway than to have nothing at all.

Guilty Pleasure

So a few days back my mom’s friend came to Jakarta and they decided to meet up. And my mom was insisting of me tagging along too, I have no idea why. We were having conversations over these…

I think my mom deliberately took me to my favourite dessert place, Bakerzin, to talk about this ridiculous idea both of them came up with. Cause she knew how desserts makes me to be in a good mood. Oh, why…

  

And the thing that made this conversation very, uhm, shocking, awkward and exciting was that she and my mom was thinking of matching her son and I together. She said that she likes me very much and she considered my mom and I like family. And she thought that it’d be a good idea that if her son and I get together and that it’d be nice to be “real” family. You can say that I was very flattered that she likes me cause I am the kind of child that your parents warned you about. Okay, I am not that extreme. Just being a little too dramatic.

But the point is, HELLO? What century are you in? Match up was like a big NO now. But then… When I saw his picture… Jaw dropped. He. Is. Freaking. Hot. But, I think it’s still a bad idea cause I know how my mom will keep on telling me what to do after I agree to this.

Day at Coffee Shop

This is the life; a good book, my favourite coffee and a red velvet roll cake.